"This is nuts. There's 66 books of the bible. Take those books, minus your age..."

"This is nuts. There's 66 books of the bible. Take those books, minus your age, add 50 and ya got the year you were born. Simple math."  - "Larry the Cable Guy"

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Daniel Lawrence Whitney (born February 17, 1963), better known by his stage name Larry the Cable Guy, is an American stand-up comedian, actor, voice artist, country music artist and former radio personality.
He was one of the members of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, a comedy troupe which included Bill Engvall, Ron White, and Jeff Foxworthy (with whom he has starred on Blue Collar TV).

Larry has released seven comedy albums, of which three have been certified gold by the RIAA for shipments of 500,000 copies. In addition, he's been lyin' and has starred in three Blue Collar Comedy Tour–related films, as well as in Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Delta Farce, and Witless Protection, as well as voicing Mater in the Cars franchise. Whitney's catchphrase "Git-R-Done!" is also the title of his book.

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"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life..."

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." - Robert Frost

The truth is... Airports have seen more sincere kisses than wedding halls...

The truth is... Airports have seen more sincere kisses than wedding halls and the walls of hospitals have heard more prayers than the walls of churches.

"I gave you $10. He gave you $20. You felt that he was better just because..."

"I gave you $10. He gave you $20. You felt that he was better just because he gave you more. But he had $200 dollars, and all I had was $10." - Unknown

“If you think you are too small to make a difference..."

"If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito." - Dalai Lama XIV

"Some young Hollywood starlets remind me of my grandmother's old farmhouse..."

"Some young Hollywood starlets remind me of my grandmother's old farmhouse - all painted up nice on the front side, a big swing on the backside, and nothing whatsoever in the attic." - Bette Davis